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The Distance Between Us

You were introduced to me by a friend some few months ago. It was the exact time when I feel really, really bad. I quitted my first job, I was trying to make both ends meet, I was thinking how I can pull my shits together. And then you came along. I told myself you were placed in the right time, and the right timing. I was very happy you came along. 

You were even twice my age, but hell, your maturity is what I'm looking for in a relationship. The relationship with a young is a relationship of problems and immaturities. When you came I thought you were heaven's sent - the answer to what I precisely need at the moment. 

We enjoyed the first few parts of building the bond together. You ask me about how my day was, and how I see things in the future. You were concerned about my mom who got sick and always pray that she'll be okay. You always remind me to eat my meals on time and never skip one. You'll get mad when you know I ate fast food and you keep telling me that health is the one thing I should consider the most precious. 

Then you introduced me to your mom, who is pretty much fun to converse with. We were at ease the first time we talked and she told me you were a responsible, loving guy. Hell, I can only say she was right, for I have felt your love. We shared the same visions, looked at the same star, gazed at the same sky. 

Despite the thousands of miles that separate our physical bodies, we managed to create that intimate connection. I was so happy because I never thought long distance relationships would actually kind of work, and it's kind of working for us. We concluded that there were two essential things to make this work: constant communication and sacrifice. Because we were at two different time zones, we had to stay awake early in the morning or even late at night to catch up. We never missed a day without updating each other with what we think and what we want to achieve. 

The relationship wasn't perfect. It has a lot of howevers. 

We were okay. However, we find the distance really limiting. You were that kind of person who wanted to have real interaction. You wanted to bring me to Scotland, or to London and visit some museums, but I just cannot leave my country because I am a hopeful nation-lover. You wanted me to be by your side when things get bad, however I cannot be there all the time. I also have my duties as a son, as an employee, and as a leader. 

Then you got fed up of the distance that divides us. You called it over because I wasn't able to reply to your calls or messages despite me explaining that I got so busy over the past few days. You called it over because you thought I wasn't willing to sacrifice anymore. 

And then I realized you weren't the matured guy I wanted. You weren't heaven's sent. You weren't that one person who would understand me and my flaws. You only saw what I can give, but never what I can get. 

That long distance that we thought a blessing became the curse. That distance between us became a haunting resolution. When people ask me what went wrong, I cannot say pinpoint anything but the distance between us. 

Perhaps the distance was a curse of the relationship we've had, but that same distance made me move on so fast nobody even noticed I got broken. 

That didn't mean I loved you less. 

That only meant I was ready to move on with life, despite being broken.