E

Alternative Ending

Those were the years we were madly in love with each other. Those were the years when we are young, unconscious of the things we do, contented with what we have, and happy with what we make. Those were the years we were troubled but never torn apart, rattled but never left each other out, and disappointed but never thought of parting ways.

I always believe that love forms a box that changes us from who we are before to what we will become, together. This box, although limiting, although cages us to the things we can do, is the same box that blankets us with amazing fire of love and shelters us from the whirlwind of devastation. It is the same box I never wanted to go out with.

The problem is not with the box. The problem is in the box. You are a non-settling individual. I hate conventions (and the box is not about conventions, it is about limitations). You don’t want to be caged because you thought you could love more. I thought that was bullshit. You thought I was right.

We agreed to continue this relationship outside the box.

The thing with living outside the box is that it is open to all possibilities. Nothing seems so impossible with this borderless world. You have your freedom and I have my fears. You translated my fears to reality and wanted to let go of me. Oh no, you wanted me to let you go.

I did.

Even if it hurts me. Even if I am not used to seeing you with someone else.

Because I love you and love is all about making sacrifices for the happiness of someone so important to you. What’s my pain if it makes you happy? People called me crazy. I prefer to be called sacrificial. I never bothered you again because I want you to embrace your freedom and I want you to live your life well.

If I had another chance to end this love story with you, I would want to end it without bitterness or pain or sacrifices. I want to end this with only clear intentions on mind, with real thoughts of wanting US—not only you or me, but the two of us, to be happy.

We reconciled the misunderstandings we had for the past two years. We said goodbye, held each other's hands for the last time, there were tears and smiles.

We openly accepted the fact that our togetherness brought nothing but hard times. Our relationship failed in almost every aspect because we desperately tried to make each other the “right fit” when we barely have similarities.

We have accepted the idea of going beyond the box that we made. There were so many possibilities this like could bring, and that our separation would open up more windows, even doors of opportunities in love and in life.

For the last time, we hugged each other, crying but with smiles, freely letting each other go.

But that was the ending we never had.