D

Another Dimension

(Writer's note: Forgive me if I have to repeat a letter in the alphabet. I just felt like I need to publish this as this includes another dimension of me and my [failed] love stories. I might be dumped so many times, but I was also happy at some point. This part of my story is a part where I'm starting to rebuild my life, the same way this guy did. This is an actual letter I never sent to the guy I'm in love with. But nothing's too late. And nothing's too soon.)

D, 

I know you've been hurt, so many times, and I know you’re afraid to love again because you think you’ll only get devastated.

The truth is, I've been through the same stories, D. I’ve loved someone so much, never left anything for myself, and when that someone left, all I felt was a deep hatred—to him, to me, to the world. I’ve been a total wreck and that has wounded my entirety. I felt I would never be the same again. But then again, I have to get up, pull my shits together, start anew, and fall in love again.

Because love is a cycle, D. The famous John Green even reminded us that we “don’t get choose to get hurt in this world, but we do have some say in who hurts us.” Love is a cycle, D. It is a never-ending process of happiness and pain, of victory and defeat, of love and loss.

I am not here to mend your broken heart—it will heal in its own way, in its own time. I am not here to promise you an “all-happy” relationship—because love is a cycle and we are part of it. I am here to offer a brand new kind of story—a story grounded by reality, bound by truth, and filled with many little stories we will share together.

We were both scarred in different ways, by different people, in totally different times, and our scars show how deeply we loved, how fully we gave, and how completely we surrendered. We will always be scarred again, maybe by each other, but I promise to leave a mark not the way the others did.

Here’s to many more stories we will weave, together.

V.