D

The Permanence of Temporary Feelings

We never had a deal; we never talked about where this thing is heading nor did we never decide to settle on something. But here it is—the usual pain I feel when somebody so important to me leaves – and here I am, alone and emotionally-broke because I invested so much time and effort when we were together.

                So many times you have been broken, and so many times I was there, always on call to give you a shoulder to lean on. I was your shock absorber and your daily dose of laughter—nothing I seemed to complain because it was the best thing I could do.

                The thing with you, though, is you have a short-term memory. You forgive and trust easily and that’s why you’re always abused. I actually don’t care about that fact; the thing I care about is when you forget about me when you are happy.

                Yes. You only remember me when you have nobody.

                And that’s why it kills me every time I see you—not because I am seeing you happy but because I am seeing you happy with the wrong person. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying I am the right one. All I am saying is that this person has hurt you so much that you have done things that adversely affected your life, and when she left you for a certain period of time, you almost killed yourself for not being so sure where your life was heading.

                And I was there—not to give your life direction—but to show you the paths you should cross. But you never trusted me on this, and I’m sad where you are right now.

                Until now I care so much about you, even if you never recognized me as somebody who can love you as much as you can do. It might have been a temporary feeling, but that feeling is permanently etched in my heart.

Here’s to the pain I am willing to feel—for you.